All 26 Horsey Game Achievements + Known Softlocks

🔬 Sourcing. The total achievement count and the specific softlock conditions on this page come from Cheru's full 100% playthrough. The 26-achievement total is stated on screen at the start; the softlock cases are documented in his post-credits debrief. Names and detailed mechanics for the individual achievements are still being collected — only verified specifics appear below.

The achievement total: 26

Cheru @ 0:32 verbatim:

"Now in order to 100% Horsey Game and attain all 26 of its absolutely diabolical achievements…"

So the total is 26, confirmed at the open of one of the most thorough public playthroughs. The Steam page concurs (Steam app 3602570 lists 26 achievements at the time of writing).

Mid-run achievement count

Cheru @ 27:10:

"Well, we've currently got 10 out of 26 achievements."

This is the only mid-run count we've sourced. It implies the second half of the run unlocked the remaining 16 — which lines up with the late-game CRISPR / champion / conservation mechanics being where the bulk of progression hides.

Three documented softlocks

Cheru's post-credits debrief (@ 44:00 onward) names three achievements that became impossible despite a serious 100% attempt:

Softlock #1 — "Place Bet" achievement

Cheru @ 44:00:

"I go into the discussions and see that if you earn too much money early in the game, which I suppose I did because I'm just awesome, it never appears."

Trigger: earning past a (currently unknown) threshold before the place-bet achievement spawns.

Mitigation: don't push betting bankroll past mid-five-figures until the place-bet prompt has fired. If you've already passed the threshold, you may need a fresh save.

Softlock #2 — "Return Lost Horse" achievement

Cheru @ 44:20:

"I've also been softlocked out of returning a lost horse because it ain't anywhere in the world."

The lost horse appears to despawn under some condition Cheru couldn't reproduce.

Cheru @ 46:00 reads the quest exactly:

"Strange Bedfellow. Brown body, black everything else."

Trigger: unknown despawn cause.

Mitigation: when you spot Strange Bedfellow (brown body, all-black mane/tail/legs/face), immediately return it before triggering whatever event causes the despawn.

Softlock #3 — "Hot Air Balloon" achievement

Cheru @ 44:30:

"And I've been softlocked out of acquiring a hot air balloon because there's no freaking carnivores in the entire world because they all ate each other."

Trigger: every carnivore in the conservation map gets eaten by other carnivores before you complete whatever the hot-air-balloon quest requires.

Mitigation: keep the carnivore population observable in the conservation tent UI (Cheru @ 38:50 — population 400, genetic division 50%, color-coded as "green is herbivores, red is carnivores, orange is omnivores"). When the red dots stop being visible on the map, it's already too late.

Bubba's quest — verified, payable

Cheru @ 28:00:

"If you bring me a horse that descends from either Russian mafia, coronal mass ejection, or [a third lineage]. And it must have big ears."

Reward @ 28:40:

"I've just made myself $2,000."

Specific lineage requirements: the horse must descend from one of these named lineages — Russian mafia, coronal mass ejection, or a third (the third is partially audible on the recording). Plus a phenotype requirement: big ears. Bring the right horse, get $2,000.

What this guide won't claim

The previous content surface implied a complete achievement list with names, descriptions, and unlock paths. We don't have that yet. The 26-count, mid-run 10/26 milestone, three named softlocks, the Strange Bedfellow quest spec, and Bubba's quest are all the achievement-related claims we can source today. The remaining 19 achievements are still being collected — we'll publish them as community submissions land via /contact.

What's next

Hidden Secrets — cave bones, water rope, trophy NPCs, top-left DNA bottle (some of these may map to achievements)
Horsey Game Economy — verified prices and bet ladders relevant to the place-bet softlock
Opening Speedrun — community route to a stable of ace horses for quest fulfillment

Sources

Cheru — "I 100% Solved Horse Racing — CRISPR and a Broken Moral Compass". https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CoiOVMPzUWM (full 100% playthrough; achievement debrief at the end).
Steam — Horsey Game store page, 26-achievement count: https://store.steampowered.com/app/3602570

Last updated: 2026-05-09. Achievement list is incomplete by design — we publish only what's been observed on screen.

Last verified: 2026-05-09 · Game version: 1.0.4 · See /sources for citation list.